Part of what's hard is the way most people perceive me - they think of me as single. In my heart, I am no less married then when Charlie was alive. Charlie and I could read each other's thoughts (well, most of the time!). We knew if something was wrong, even though no one else might know. We loved to watch "24" on Monday nights - Charlie would get so involved that he would pace the floor - it was "our" show. I even got him hooked on American Idol.
Music was intertwined between us in a way that's indescribable. I met Charlie in college - he was a sophomore music major, I was a freshman. His locker in the music building was next to mine. I "skipped" my freshman year (a few brains to go with my musical ability) and ended up in his sophomore class. He caught me one day walking across the 2nd floor lobby of the music building, pulled me across him, started kissing me up my arm and said "you smell so good"! Maybe not the most original pick-up line, but it was a start. We began dating my second year at James Madison, on October 10, 1974 - after I became his pianist! We could instinctively play together like one - and over the years this connection only became stronger, whether with cello or choir. I feel like the music in me died with him - I still love it, but it's like being a violin without a bow, a melody without any harmony.
Spending the evening with Lexie & Jenna, and getting a wonderful phone call from Gracie, giving me a hug over the phone and hearing Hannah's happy noises in the background, really helped my heavy heart. Today is a special day and even though Charlie can't be here to share it with me, it is still a day to celebrate our love.
